Appreciation

A friend of mine sent me the following story requesting me to forward it to as many as possible and I decided to use this blog for that purpose with the fervent hope that this blog will be viewed at least by a handful of friends who value the word "Appreciation"

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One young academically excellent person went to apply for a managerial position in a big company. He passed the first interview, the Director did the last interview, made the last decision. The Director discovered from the CV that the youth's academic achievements were excellent all the way, from the secondary school until the postgraduate research, never had a year when he did not score.

The Director asked "Did you obtain any scholarships in School? the youth answered "none".

The Director asked "Was it your father who paid for your school fees?. The youth answered. My father passed away when I was one year old, it was my mother who paid for my school fees. The Director asked "Where did your mother work?". The youth answered "My mother worked as a clothes cleaner. The Director requested the youth to show his hands. The youth showed a pair of hands that were smooth and perfect. The Director asked "Have you ever helped your mother wash the clothes before?". The youth answered "Never, my mother always wanted me to study and read more books. Furthermore, my mother can wash clothes faster than me. The Director said, "I have a request. When you go back today, go and clean your mother's hands, and then see me tomorrow morning".

The youth felt that his chance of landing the job was high. When he went back, he happily requested his mother to let him clean her hands. His mother felt strange, happy but with mixed feelings, she showed her hands to her son.  The youth cleaned his mother's hand slowly. Tears rolled down from his eyes as he did that. It was the first time that he noticed his mother's hands were so wrinkled and there were so many bruises in her hands. Some bruises were so painful that his mother shivered when they were  cleaned with water. This was the first time that the youth realised that it was this pair of hands that washed the clothes everyday to enable him to pay the school fee. The bruises in the mother's hands were the price that the mother had to pay for his graduation, academic excellence and his future. After finishing the cleaning of his mother's hands, the youth quietly washed all the remaining clothes for his mother. That night, mother and son talked for a very long time. Next morning, the youth went to the Director's office.

The Director noticed the tears in the youth's eyes, asked: "Can you tell me what have you done and learned yesterday in your house?". The youth answered, "I cleaned my mother's hands, and also finished clearing all the remaining clothes" The Director asked, "please tell me your feelings" The youth said, Number 1, I know now what is appreciation. Without my mother, there would not be the successful me today. Number 2, by working together and helping my mother, only I now realise how difficult and tough it is to get something done. Number 3, I have come to appreciate the importance and value of family relationship. The Director said, "This is what I am looking for one to be my manager. I want to recruit a person who can appreciate the help of others, a person who knows the sufferings of others to get things done, and a person who would not put money as his only goal in life. You are hired.

Later on, this young person worked very hard and received the respect of his subordinates. Every employee worked diligently and as a team. The company's performance improved tremendously.

A child, who has been protected and habitually given whatever he wanted, would develop "entitlement mentality" and would always put himself first. He would be ignorant of his parent's efforts. When he starts work, he assumes that every person must listen to him, and when he becomes a manager, he would never know the sufferings of his employees and would always blame others. For this kind of people, who may be good academically, may be successful for a while, but eventually would not feel sense of achievement. He will grumble and be full of hatred and fight for more. If we are this kind of protective parents, are we really showing love or are we destroying the kid instead?.

You can let your kid live in a big house, eat a good meal, learn piano, watch a big screen TV. But when you are cutting grass, please let them experience it. After a meal, let them wash their plates and bowls together with their brothers and sisters. It is not because you  do not have money to hire a maid, but it is because you want to love them in the right way. You want them to understand, no matter how rich their parents are, one day their hair will grow grey same as the mother of that young person. The most important thing is your kid learns how to appreciate the effort and experience the difficulty and learns the ability to work with others to get things done.

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You would have sent or forwarded umpteen mails and messages to many and many of them would have communicated with you too on similar subjects but try to read this story and encourage others to read whenever and wherever possible......that may change somebody's fate and even destiny. Thank you for your valuable time.

Father's day

Today is Father's day and memories of my late father keep flashing before me. Major Thekkanmar Veettil Karunakaran Nair was his full name and he was known as Major Nair in official circles. He was a strict disciplinarian and a true soldier judging by his character. Although he was a terror and even nicknamed Tiger Nair by some, he carried a soft heart within his strong body. He was a member of an aristocratic family, his two uncles having served the legal profession, one as a High Court Judge and the other as a District & Sessions Judge in those days.

After graduating from St. Joseph's College in Tiruchirapalli (Trichy), my father did short stints as a Teacher and also as an Inspector in the revenue department during pre-independence days. In the year 1930 he joined the supply corps (ASC) of the Indian Army  (then the British Royal Army) as a commissioned officer. He was a real task master and this stood him in good stead and earned him accolades from the British commanders for whom duty and discipline were of paramount importance.

My sister who is the eldest in our family recalls her childhood days when she used to be the pet of my father. Talking of him, she becomes emotional as she was lucky enough to have enjoyed life as a child, my father holding a prestigious position. But lady luck never smiled at him.  Unfortunately most of the decisions that he took went wrong resulting in misfortune and misery.

My sister was narrating an incident during the days she spent in Ernakulam. My father was offered a  duplex villa on MG Road at Jose Junction for just Rs 5,000/-. At that time my father had a bank balance of Rs 50,000/-, a substantial sum in those days, but he declined the offer, my sister distinctly remembers the reason that he gave was that as an army officer he is entitled to a well furnished accommodation wherever he is posted, so why invest his money on a house in Ernakulam when he is on the verge of a transfer. Such was his nature.Just imagine what that property is worth now. He was good at giving commands but a poor listener. Self respect was his forte but he never allowed others to give him a piece of advice even if it was for his own benefit.

When India gained independence, he was a Captain. As part of the reforms introduced by the government, defence officers were given the option to join IPS direct without going through the Civil Services examination. But my father had a different vision that if he continues with the army,  in course of time he can rise to the position of a Lieutnant General before he retires. But ill luck willed it otherwise. When he was a Major he became diabetic but for the next few years he somehow cleared the annual medical tests and then he was promoted to the rank of Lieutnant Colonel. Before he was confirmed in that post, he had to undergo the mandatory medical test which unfortunately he failed. He lost his promotion and soon was asked to retire on medical grounds as he was declared medically unfit for service. This shattered his dream of becoming a Lt General. His colleague another Captain Nair who opted for IPS later became the Inspector General of Police in Kerala.

After leaving the army, my father settled down in Trivandrum and accepted an offer from the Kerala Tourism Development Corporation as their Catering Advisor. He was recovering from the earlier shocks in life and slowly getting back to normal.  But bad luck followed him like a shadow. During an official trip to Ernakulam he suffered a massive stroke and succumbed. He could not buy a home in Ernakulam but his soul rests in the city of Ernakulam.

I thought of this blog as the best way to pay homage to my great father.

I salute you Major Saab with love and respect.

Reader's Day

We attach great importance to Mothers' Day, Fathers' Day, Valentines' Day and so on and so forth. But how many of us give vent to Readers' Day. Ironically only a few, the obvious reason being we read something or the other everyday.

It was a real treat to the eye, while reading Mathrubhumi, the largest circulated news daily in Malayalam on the 19th June 2015, I came across a full page length report with the headline "Today is Readers' Day" (in Malayalam "Vayana Dinam" which translated to English becomes "Reading Day"). To be frank, I myself, was not aware of a Readers' Day ever before. So for me it was an invigorating experience. I could not stop appreciating the initiative of the daily in creating an awareness among the masses on the importance of reading. And to coincide with this drive, a week long programme has also been organised together with an exhibition cum sale of a wide variety of books in different languages offering big discounts in order to lure more and more to take to reading.

Alarmingly the number of serious readers among the new generation is dwindling and  slowly  reading is becoming a thing of the past as they spend more and more time glued to the i-phones busily browsing and chatting on trivial matters. This needs to change. For this social organisations should hold seminars with the sole aim of encouraging and inculcating the habit of reading among the young and old alike.

Reading rejuvenates our mind, enriches our knowledge, helps us keep abreast with the developments taking place everyday around the world. We start the day scanning the newspaper to keep ourselves upto-date on varying subjects, be it politics, sports, world affairs, weather, fashion, food, technology and what not?. The list is endless. Unless we utilise our time in useful reading we fail to connect with the world and grope in the dark leading a miserable meaningless life.

Readers fall into different categories like those who read for pleasure, for gaining knowledge, for preparing themselves for competitive examinations, for personality development and even to while away time and escape boredom and loneliness.

Apart from giving us knowledge, reading stimulates our senses which in turn improves our bodily functions. It helps refresh our mind and body. It moulds our character. The benefits of reading can be attributed to the subject that we choose and the content. By reading we are able to share the experiences and thoughts of others which in the right perspective will shape our character and destiny.

When we are alone, reading materials keep us good company. While in a happy mood reading elevates our joy and while depressed or dejected reading soothes and consoles our troubled minds.

We must keep pace with the changing world and if only we give importance to reading regularly this can materialise.  During our morning stroll we often come across people in different age groups engrossed in newspapers. Their interests may vary. But they have one purpose in common. Move with the times and know what the world has in store for them.

A few months back, I happened to read an article about a politician whose only interest was reading (of course other than politics) and who virtually invested all his earnings on books. After spending over four decades in active politics when he finally returned to his native place in Kerala he brought along three truck loads of books numbering 25000. Really a staggering number considering it is an individual's private collection. I made a rough calculation and came to the conclusion that he has been reading on an average two books a day. Is that not astounding?. For an ordinary person it is a wee bit difficult to emulate him. But he is a glaring example when the topic "Reading" comes up for debate or discussion.

Whenever I think of the subject "Reading" I travel down the memory lane tracing vivid memories of my mother's elder sister who was an avid reader. But her choice of books was unique. She was interested only in detective novels and ghost stories in Malayalam. It was the duty of the children to get her books from a local lending library everyday and she could easily finish a two hundred page book in one sitting. And at night before the children retire to bed she will share what she has read with the children. These stories get embedded in their tiny minds. But the bookish knowledge that my aunt acquired had only an adverse impact on the children and she too did not get knowledgeable. As a result when they grew up the word courage was not synonym with them. The thoughts of thieves and ghosts always haunted them.

In short, we must be selective in choosing the books, should read with a purpose and always give vent to the time factor. We must read with absolute concentration so that we are able to memorise and put what we read into action at a later date. We should never read haphazardly as it will only be a waste of our valuable time and energy. Reading is to the mind what food is to the body.

That reminds me of an interesting anecdote. Winston Churchil met his cousin Londonberry, himself a writer, at a party. Londonberry casually asked - Hi Winston haven't you read my latest book,  for which Churchil replied - Oh no, no way, I read only for pleasure or profit.

In conclusion, let me assert that the new generation imbibe and understand the virtues of good reading and endeavour to make reading a part and parcel of their daily lives and strive to do their best even if they find it a herculean task to match the amazing feat of that political wizard and a voracious reader with a huge collection of books.

MONSOON

Monsoon is here with its fiery spell
Lashing at roads and rails like a yell

Though rain has come a little bit late
What a respite from the heat we hate

Clouds keep painting the sky so dark
Lightnings draw silver lining so stark

For those indoors rain is a marvel
But those outside see in it a ravel

Ponds and potholes spring up in rain
For commuters it poses a severe pain

Children rejoice the monsoon shower
Watching the raindrops from the tower

Although they like bright sunshine
For them monsoon rains are pretty fine

Rains at night are always welcome
During daytime a havoc they become

Rains do not spare even the woods
Trees adrift downstream with their roots

The distant thunder rocks the ground
Although fearsome it is a soothing sound

Rain water fills up backwater upstream
Ocean waves gain strength extreme

Fishing gets into a strenuous stage
When the sea gets rough and rage

Fisher-women cry and pray onshore
So that their men return safe ashore

Rivers overflow flooding paddy field
And sadly destroy crops before yield

Playgrounds turn a watery place
Putting an end to games and race

Without rains drought alone prevail
But too much rain is of no avail

Rainwater harvest is an ideal norm
If only rain does not bring along storm

Rain has its own ups and downs
Nevertheless it is a heavenly boon

For all on earth water is life
Rain alone can make that hype

My mother

Today is world mothers' day
My mother looks at me from far away

She was an angel in full blossom
A woman of fame that was awesome

She was revered like Mother Teresa
And she treated all alike sans chasm

For her disparity was a distant norm
Children encore were always welcome home

Her life was full of trials and tribulations
Yet she stood ground with devotion and dedication

For elders she was a sister so unique
And youngsters treated her like mother supreme

She only longed for peace at large
And always spread the message of love

She was a woman with guts and substance
Yet so humble and down to earth

For me no day passes without her thought
And I feel her presence round the clock

If rebirth is a universal truth
Then I have just one wish

That I want to be born again and again
As my mother's loving son

There is a list of unfinished tasks
For which I yearn for my mother again

If I am born again as her son
I can complete those tasks for her

Wherever you are my darling mother
Let me touch your sacred feet again

Tension needs attention

Tension, a word so common in our daily lives. I bet you cannot find one who has not experienced this at least once in his or her lifetime. I would rather say that it starts at home as you obviously wake up at home and not in your workplace.

Children getting up late, allowing them only a few minutes to go for a wash, dress up and have a grub, the reason their mother overslept and failed to wake them up (she has been watching a late night movie on TV). Adding fuel to the fire, the children miss the school bus. Now it is the turn of the dad to accept moral responsibility for this debacle. Tension filled moments follow.

My first assignment abroad was with a British firm and I was made responsible for managing the service contracts. Having overcome the early tension of the day, I am at my office desk all set for more. A pile of problems passed on to me (passing the buck is the reckoning in any office). What more do I need for added tension?. I am about to clear the pile and the boss dashes in with a big list of complaints. The door closer is malfunctioning (as if I am a carpenter). Get it fixed before any wanted face breaks in. There is coffee stain in the carpet (I do not drink coffee in the office). Get it cleared as we have some important visitors (all heavy coffee drinkers). I assume the role of an acrobat leaving the pile of work half done. Two third of the morning is lost. Finally when I get back to the chair the telephone keeps ringing ruthlessly. A technician from the field calls "Hellow there, am going on leave tonight. Will be there at 7.30 pm for my salary and passport" (well knowing that the office closes at 6 pm). No sooner than I keep the phone down, an unfamiliar face appears at the door with a tricky smile of a typical insurance guy ready to take my life rather than protect it. As soon as I struggle out of that vicious circle the phone rings again, this time an offshore operator requesting for emergency leave. Now the hunt for a replacement begins.

So after a hectic day full of tension, I will be trying to heave a sigh of relief. There comes the boss again with yet another complaint that there is no water in one of the company flats. And for the next couple of hours I will be encountering departments disowning responsibility.

After all these, when I finally reach home, I usually come across a wife a kids putting up stiff faces with that pertinent question "Why are you so late?".

Having completed 12400 tension filled days in active service overseas, I finally decided to call it a day. Enough is enough, I concluded. Somehow I was confident (or was it overconfidence?) the days ahead in retirement will keep tension at bay. The children are now grown up and on their own. So we can expect ample support from them instead of tension unlike the days bygone. With retirement, stress at work will become history. But tension follows human beings like a shadow.

Before relocating to Kerala (God's own country) I spent a month of cheer and jeer with my son in San Francisco in the company of my wife and daughter. We had a really wonderful tension free time there and enjoyed life to the brim.

It took us a little while to settle down in Kochi. I felt completely at ease devoid of the stress at work. Barring minor dissents on petty issues at home, life was at its best. Tension is a foregone conclusion, I sufficed.

Having spent a peaceful year in retirement, we decided to make a trip to Singapore and Malaysia. After a fun-filled joyous ten days sojourn we took the return flight from Singapore. My sister was also with us during that flight. We had to be in transit at Kualalampur airport for about eight hours before flying to Kochi our final destination.

We boarded the aircraft at Changi airport. My wife and sister were in the front row and I was given a seat in the middle row. Before moving to my seat I kept my backpack and camera in the luggage hold right above the front row as it was virtually empty.

When the flight landed at Kualalampur my wife and sister alighted first. Being in the middle row, I had to wait in the queue for my turn. When I reached the first row I opened the luggage hold and found it empty. I assumed my wife has carried the backpack and the camera. I came out of the aircraft and walked towards the waiting area to join my wife and sister. On seeing me my wife asked "where is your backpack?". I was startled. Then only I realised that my wife removed the backpack and camera from the luggage hold and left them on the seat for me to collect. But I failed to observe it. I was left with no choice. I mustered strength, called out Almighty for help and dashed towards the aircraft which was preparing for take off. Pushing the passengers who were waiting to board the aircraft, I rather jumped into the aircraft and retrieved my backpack and camera and without caring for the Captain and Crew who were busy discussing about the unclaimed items on the seat, ran out of the aircraft. Had I been five more minutes late, the aircraft would have gone with belongings I would have lost them for ever. For a while I thought I was about to collapse as I was completely stressed with tension at its height. I sat down on the floor for a while till I could breathe properly and then slowly moved further.

Six months have elapsed without any untoward incident since we completed our near east trip. Life is back to normal.

If someone argues that "Tension reduces life span", I will have only "No" for an answer because I am still alive. But tension definitely needs attention.

Birthdays

Have you ever celebrated your birthday? I never have. But I used to celebrate the birthdays of my children as they have always been looking forward to it and longing for it, till they turned teens. As teenagers they felt that they have come off age and should have the liberty to celebrate the birthdays the way they choose. So we parents were relieved of our responsibilities of arranging the birthday parties except the finance part.

A couple of days back when I opened my Face Book page, a handful of birthday greetings was awaiting me. It made me foray into the significance of birthdays. When we think of birthdays what immediately come  into focus are the date and month in which one is born as the year is incremental. And for all practical purposes that date is the milestone for calculating one's age. However it is interesting to know that in so far as Kerala (customs vary from place to place and Country to Country) the Hindu community in particular attaches greater importance to the star under which a child is born. Matter-of-factly the star birthday invariably falls on a day other than the actual date of birth. Sounds whimsical. This practice is still prevalent and elders continue referring to the almanac (which is an off-shoot of astrology) for observing the star birthday.

During my childhood, the concept of birthday parties was insignificant as we grew up in a tiny village where birthday celebration was an unknown event. For us it was only the star birthday which assumed importance. My mother used to check the Malayalam calendar as almanac and astrology were the basis for finding out the planetary position and the Malayalam calendars carried the appropriate details drawn from the almanac.

On the star birthday, my mother will arrange for special poojas (prayers)  at the nearby temple. That day used to bring lot of excitement as I could relish the taste of the special sweet meal (payasam) which is symbolic of the star birthdays in those days. But things have changed drastically and nowadays very few people follow star birthdays. As time passed, with the advent of the fast food culture, the traditional birthday sweet meal has been replaced by the modern ice cream. Children prefer burgers, fries and soft drinks for the main course. The only delicacy which continues to be the part and parcel of any birthday is the specially made delicious cake.

Infrastructure development has brought radical changes in the village life and has helped bridge the gap between the villages and the cities remarkably. IT revolution has taken cell phones and internet even to the remotest village. Citizens are able to communicate and interact with their friends and dear ones at the flick of a button. Villagers started getting accustomed to the city life as the facilities which were only available to the cities in the past started spreading to the villages. Coffee shops and supermarkets sprang up in villages. TV channels gave an insight into different social functions and with that birthday parties also became a household affair in the villages.

During my childhood, birthday party was quite unfamiliar in our village.  Get together in a family was limited to a couple of occasions. One during a marriage and the other to condole the demise of a family member.

If my recollection is right, I had the first bite of a birthday cake when I was fifteen or sixteen years of age and that too after we migrated from a village to the city. And that was the very first time that I could take part in a birthday celebration. I was rather flabbergasted to view the arrangements for cutting the cake with snacks and drinks arrayed on the table followed by the lighting of candles with the children and their parents singing the birthday song in unison. And that day the birthday boy or girl turns a celebrity. The birthday child is greeted by the guests and showered with gifts (That reminds me of a rare gift - an Airbus A320 presented by the richest Indian in the world Mukesh Ambani to his wife Nita on her birthday). A common man can have such a gift only in his dream. But the happiness that a birthday child radiates while receiving the miniature of an aircraft as a birthday gift  carries more intrinsic value than the multi million rupee worth aircraft.  For a while I thought that I was in a totally different world. That was my first experience of a birthday party.

I tried to figure out as to who was the first to celebrate a birthday party on this planet. Is it Adam or Eve?. Has anyone ever tried to conduct a research on this? Or is it the innovation of the modern age?. Nobody knows. Birthday greetings do not just remind you that you are growing or getting old. There is more to it than meets the eye.

Thanks to technology. We continue to send greetings to each other from any corner of the world regardless of age. That indeed is a great way to celebrate birthdays.